Condolences
Sherry, I only met your mother once so I didn't really know her but I do have the privilege of being able to call the wonderful daughter that she raised my friend. The kind and beautiful person that you are, Sherry, speaks volumes as to the kind of person that your mother must have been. Please accept our deepest sympathies and know that you and your family will be in our thoughts. All our love, Vanessa, Stuart, Nathan & Ava
Copy of Mom's Eulogy for those of you who asked for it. A LETTER TO MOM Dear Mom, I keep thinking back to last Sunday when we were all together for dinner at our place. I try to remember the details of the day and realize that there was nothing really extraordinary about it…it was just a typical get-together of our crazy group. We talked, laughed, ate Martin’s yummy soup and your famous buttermilk biscuits, drank the traditional rum and coke and just enjoyed being together as a family. I remember that you held the boys on your lap and snuggled with them and listened with genuine interest as they told you their usual animated stories of flying in rocket ships and battling alligators, and you made the appropriate comments, and watching you with them it was as obvious as ever how much you adored them, and they you. It was just an ordinary day together, yet one that I will never forget. When James called me on Monday night saying that you were not feeling well and needed me to come over and take you to the hospital, I had no way of knowing that it would be your last day with us. I keep thinking that if I had known I would have come over to visit you earlier that day, or would have at least called you to just talk and hear your voice. In my heart I know that you would not want me to feel this way, but it just seems like somehow your last day should have been something more than it was. I should have been more a part of it. I feel like we didn’t get the chance to really say “good-bye”, if that’s something that you can ever really do. When the paramedics were leaving to take you to the hospital and I held your hand and told you that I’d meet you there I could see how scared you were and how much pain you were in and it broke my heart that I was not able to take that away. I was absolutely terrified and I think it was the first time in my whole life that I realized it was possible that you would not live forever as I’d always hoped and prayed. When they came into the waiting room in Kitchener and told us that you were gone….it was a moment that no words could ever describe. It was as if they were telling us that the Earth had stopped rotating, or the stars had all burned out of the night sky. Our world as we had always known it had stopped turning and our guiding star was gone from the sky, and as the doctor proceeded to tell us that your heart had stopped working, we felt ours breaking. It has been so hard these past days to shake this feeling of not having said a proper “Good-bye” to you mom. It’s for this reason that I have chosen today, in front of all of these people, friends and family, who have come here to show their love and support for you and James and me, that I will say what I wished I had had the chance to say to you on Monday night. I’d like to believe that you are here somewhere, listening. There are so many things that I am grateful to you for. I owe my love of music to you; for the endless hours that you spent with James and me, playing your old hurting country songs on our stereo and dancing with us. For the many times that you played the guitar and sang, teaching us all of those classic “children’s” songs like Coal Miner’s Daughter, In The Ghetto and Almost Persuaded.” It’s always something that makes me smile to think that while other children were learning London Bridges and Eensie Weensie Spider, we were learning the lyrics to songs about cheating hearts and life in the ghetto, and we sang our little hearts out while you played for us. Tammy Wynette, Loretta Lynn and George Jones were our Sharon, Lois and Bram. You always said that you wished you could play better, that you only knew a few chords and wanted to learn more, but to us you were Eric Clapton, mom, and I thank you for passing on the joy of music to us. You were always such a loving person and made our home the one that all of our friends wanted to be at. You said to me years later that it was always important to you that our friends came over; that it was a way of you to monitor who we were spending our time with and being influenced by. You always believed that the bad kids didn’t want to come to your house and hang out with your mom, so it was a way of weeding out the bad ones and getting to know the good ones. You were “MOM” to so many of our friends when we were growing up…many of those friends are here today because you meant so much to them, because you had such a way of loving us all. That was something that always made me so proud of you…that other kids were trashing their parents and finding no common ground with them and you were as much a part of my crowd as anyone I chummed with. How many times did I come home from a babysitting job to find a few of those crazies playing cards with you at our kitchen table, not caring at all that I wasn’t even home! There were many times in my life when I lost my way and made decisions that I know must have hurt you, but you never made me feel like it had any affect on how you felt about me or how much you loved me. I always knew that your love was unconditional; that I could come to you to talk about anything. Nothing was taboo with you, and this was such an amazing comfort in those times when I was lost and needed someone to talk to. Of course this backfired on you from time-to-time; a good example being when we were sitting in a dark movie theatre watching Out of Africa and I piped up during a quiet scene to ask you “Mom, what’s syphilis?” I remember that I was quite determined to get an answer too, despite your attempts to hush me amid the stifled chuckles of everyone in the theatre. You did tell us that we could ask you or talk to you about anything! I am grateful to be your daughter, Mom. You have loved me and made me believe that I am worth loving, all of my life, and for that I am so truly thankful. We have had so many wonderful times together. Our trip to the Dominican all those years ago when we both got so sunburned that we looked like lobsters, and we rented that scooter and almost got ourselves killed driving into the local village, totally unaware that it was quite dangerous to have even left the resort in the area that we were in. The many nights we went and played pool at Colby’s and sat and drank coffee at Timmy’s afterwards talking about everything and anything. The fun things that we used to do when I lived in Toronto and you would come for the weekend to visit. The time we had tickets for the dinner cruise at Harbourfront and got stuck in roadblocks for the marathon that was going on. You were so shocked when I made an illegal turn right in front of a cop to get to where we needed to be. When he pulled us over and I shoved or cruise tickets in his face and started giving him my very good reasons for doing what I did, that I was not going to miss the boat and not be able to take my mom out for a nice night in the big city and in the end he just told us to leave, unable to stand my arguments any longer…we laughed all the way to the boat about it. Then there was the time you got a hickey from the hose on the machine that checked the air quality where you worked…at least that’s the story you told us! Cindy and I teased you about that one for a while. In a lot of ways we were very different personalities, but you made me feel like you admired me for my assertiveness and gumption, rather than making me feel that it was inappropriate just because it was not something you could always relate to. I know at times I was a mystery to you, but you always made me feel like it was okay to be who I was, and I have always been thankful that you accepted me and didn’t try to stifle me or hold me back. Of course, you did get in the odd comment about being quite sure I must have been switched in the nursery when I was born! My girly-girl antics and hours spent in the bathroom as a teenager were not something that you could always understand, but you tolerated it wonderfully, even through my blue cream eye shadow right up to the eyebrows phase! The love that you have had for my boys and the light that you put into their eyes when they see you walk through the door has brought me so much happiness, you couldn’t imagine how much. When I have watched you holding my babies, knowing how much it meant to you being a Grandma after so many years of seeing us struggle to get pregnant, it brought me so much joy to see you interacting with them and loving them as you had always loved me. Your physical absence from their life is devastating to me, but I promise you now that they will grow to know who their “MeMa” was. I will not let your memory fade from their lives as they get older. They too will be able to sing all of the lyrics to “Patches” and “The Knoxville Girl”! They will hear all of the crazy stories of my childhood and relive things that they have done with you as they are growing up. Their love for you and memories will live on in their hearts, just as it will in all of ours, mom. Finally, I want to say that although it is a loss for me greater than I could ever begin to describe, not having you to share the years ahead with, it is bearable knowing that you are in a better place now. The loneliness and sadness that I know were often a part of your life is behind you now, mom. I don’t want you to worry about us here. You brought us up to love and care for each other and that’s just what we are going to do. Rest easy, mom, knowing that although right now our sorrow seems unbearable, you have left us with the love, support and comfort of the people here today….people who are a part of our lives because of who you were, and their love for you. We will miss you, mom…more than words could ever begin to describe, but the memories that we have of our life with you and the love that you taught us to feel and give will see us through in the days ahead. I want you to know that you will live on through all of us, mom; in the many memories that we each have of you. I’d like to think that you are somewhere beautiful, playing Yatzee with Ruthie, tending to some honey bees with George, playing Euchre with Grandma and Grandpa, or just enjoying a coffee with Leigh and Gail. Over the years you have lost people very dear to you, mom, and it is only now that I can begin to understand what an affect that must have had on you. I hope that you are looking down at us and can see all of these people who have come to honour your memory and wish you well on your journey. I will always love you, mom. You gave me life and then taught me the lessons and guided me on a path that allowed me to flourish, and I will forever be grateful. I don’t feel that this is really “Goodbye” for us. I believe that there is no end to the bond of such a pure love, so I will close by saying “until we meet again” mom. I will miss your hugs, your laughter and just being with you, but I know the love continues on. Your favourite daughter, Sherry In closing I would like to play a song that is I think is befitting of this day and say “Thank You!” to all of you for coming. Your love and support by being here to honour mom, as well as the many, many kind gestures of food and condolences have meant so much to James and me. We are truly blessed to have such amazing people in our lives. I know that we haven’t returned everyone’s calls this past week, and I apologize. I want you to know that we do appreciate all of your kind thoughts and gestures. Understandably, it has been a very busy, stressful time for us and I know that a few of you fell through the cracks this past week, but know that your thoughts were appreciated. Thank you. Lyrics to Goodbye’s the Saddest Word: Mamma You gave life to me Turned a baby into a lady Mamma All you had to offer Was the promise of a lifetime of love Now I know There is no other Love like a mother's love for her child And I know A love so complete Someday must leave Must say goodbye Goodbye's the saddest word I'll ever hear Goodbye's the last time I will hold you near Someday you'll say that word and I will cry It'll break my heart to hear you say goodbye Mamma You gave love to me Turned a young one into a woman Mamma All I ever needed Was a guarantee of you loving me 'Cause I know There is no other Love like a mother's love for her child And it hurts so That something so strong Someday will be gone, must say goodbye Goodbye's the saddest word I'll ever hear Goodbye's the last time I will hold you near Someday you'll say that word and I will cry It'll break my heart to hear you say goodbye But the love you gave me will always live You'll always be there every time I fall You are to me the greatest love of all You take my weakness and you make me strong And I will always love you 'til forever comes And when you need me I'll be there for you always I'll be there your whole life through I'll be there this I promise you, Mamma Mamma, I'll be I'll be your beacon through the darkest nights I'll be the wings that guide your broken flight I'll be your shelter through the raging storm And I will love you 'till forever comes Goodbye's the saddest word I'll ever hear Goodbye's the last time I will hold you near Someday you'll say that word and I will cry It'll break my heart to hear you say goodbye 'Till we meet again... Until then... Goodbye
Sherry Our condolences go out to you and your family, if you need anything, don't hesitate to call. Love Cindy and the Balazs Family
Sherry, I did not know Andrea, but I have had the pleasure of knowing you, and I believe a child is the brightest reflection of our selves. When someone knows right from wrong and can’t be swayed from it, and makes their friend laugh when they’re feeling down, and heals their child’s hurt with a kiss and a smile, it’s because they have had a great teacher in their parent. You are all these qualities and more, and that is why I know Andrea was a lovely person, because you and your family are truly lovely people. I will be thinking of you all.
My dearest friend, words cannot express the sorrow I feel for you, James, the kids and the rest of your family. Your mom truly was a second mother with the amount of time we spent together during our school years! I will always hold fond memories of the days she baked me buttermilk biscuits and grits for the first time. The sleep overs, the laughing, the fun we had together with her. I can still hear her voice as if it was yesterday! I am sad that I missed you when I stopped by a few days ago, but I will see you soon! All my love, and love from Rory, Peyton and Brittani. The Other Shari
Sherry, I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved Mom. I know the deep pain you must be feeling and your tremendous sense of loss, and my heart goes out to you. Hope to see you again soon.
I was so shocked to hear of Andreas passing. She was a good friend and I have fond memories of her fishing on my dock in Haliburton. She had a heart of solid gold and made me laugh so hard sometimes I would cry. I will always remember her as a loving and caring person. She will be missed by all who knew her.
I am very sorry to hear about your sudden loss. Andy was like a brother to my husband who lost his life to cancer two weeks ago. Andy called me to let me know that his sister had suddenly died and I assure you my heart really stretches out to you. Too soon to forget the loss of a loved one and I wish you luck in putting this all behind you. Again, my deepest sympathy!
Sherry, you don't really know me, but I met you briefly at the hospital on Monday night, when I came back from viewing my son's xrays I asked where you had gone, and the nurse told me you had driven to Kitchener I wish I had caught you I would have driven you there, as you should not have gone alone, you were so nice to me and talked with so much love about life, your kids, and your mom, I knew today when I read the obituary she had passed, I am very sorry and my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family, and your words are also with me, taking care of ourselves and cherishing our little angels, De
I was very sorry to hear of Andreas passing. Sherry, James, and families....my thoughts and prayers are with you at this sad time. May the sorrow and sadness be replaced with peace and wonderful memories. God Bless
Our thoughts are with you, Sherry & James. Your mom will be greatly missed.